This was my own personal hell, created for and by me. This is where I would live, the monstrosity of pain that I had built on trying to be what no one really wanted. I had not eaten for days. The hunger pangs had stopped long ago. I was starving, but on many levels which had nothing to do with food. The starvation sank deep into my bones and it would no doubt be what killed me. A loud clap of thunder shook the walls and sound reverberated inside my little room. It had been raining non-stop, lightning and thunder playing off one another in the distance. Perhaps it was getting closer, the fury of the storm, the wrath of someOne that didn’t exist. I craned my head and looked out the window. Water pelted my face in icy sheets. The rain was pouring down heavily and the sky overhead was so gray, so near to black. Was it daytime? Or was it night? I had lost track hours and hours and hours ago. For moments I sat there as my face was soaked. I no longer felt the cold of it, only a blessed. Fir maine uske hotho ke upar apna hoth rkh diya aur use chusne laga.Usne thoda sa bhi virodh nhi kiya. Maine use apne baahon men puri jor se bhar kr daboch liya aur jor se uske hothon ko chusne laga. Pehli baar usne bhi mera saath diya aur mere hothon ko chusne lgi aur apna tongue mere munh men daal diya. Mere to sharir men current doudne laga. Main use 10 min tk aise hi chuste rha fir jhat se maine use sofe par litaya aur uski saari utha kar upar kr di. Wo kuchh bhi virodh ni kr rhi thi. Maine jhatse apni jeebh uski chut pe rkhkar chatne laga. Usne apne dono haath mere sar pe rkh diya aur apne hoth katne lgi. Uski saansen tej hoti ja rhi thi. 5 min tk main use jeebh se chodte rha tb tk wo jhad gyi.Fir maine apna paint khola tbhi unke kadmo ki aawaaz sunaai dene lgi. Hum jhat se normal hue. Vishaal aur wo aaye aur bole ki late ho rha hai. Main chahta tha ki bas wo aaj ke din ruk jaaye mera kaam bn jayega. Mujhe apne upar gussa aa rha tha ki maine priya pe pehle try kyun ni kiya..
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